What made you laugh today?
Well some girl on this forum just asked for an illegal drug to keep her awake and first thing that came to mind was something that doesn't do that. Laced weed. I looked it up because I was curious on how other people have delt with it and came across this:
your picHaha your signiture made me laugh just now too.
Another time I went there, this guy was standing near the grapes and just ate them from the vine as if no one watched it happening.When my dad goes shopping, he picks up a bag of grapes and eats them while he shops. When he gets to the till, he either decides he doesn't really want grapes and puts them to one side or asks me to run and swap it for a new bunch.
When my dad goes shopping, he picks up a bag of grapes and eats them while he shops. When he gets to the till, he either decides he doesn't really want grapes and puts them to one side or asks me to run and swap it for a new bunch.Hahaha it's funny because he doesn't stand there eating them then walks away when he's done.
My job is bless'ed unbelievable. I?ll try to sum it up for you by telling you about the folks I work with:LOL I exploded with laughter
First, there?s the supermodel wanna-be chick. I?ll give her credit, she's pretty bless'ed hot. But she?s constantly fixing up her hair, or putting on make up. She is extremely self centered, and never considers the needs/wants/desires of anyone but herself. She?s as dumb as a box of rocks. I?m surprised she has enough brainpower to continue to breathe. She must suck a mean richard, because the boss keeps her around.
The next chick is the exact opposite. She?s probably one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career opportunities are endless, yet she?s here with us. She?s like a -10 on a scale of 1-10. I?m not sure she even showers, let alone shaves her womanly parts. I think she?s a lesbian, because whenever we pass the Home Depot, she moans like she?s creaming her panties.
Finally, and the jewel of the crowd is a bless'ed stoner. I?m not talking like an occasional toker. This guy is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I?m pretty sure after work. I would doubt he?s been sober in the last ten years easily. And he?s only 22. He dresses like a freaking beatnik throwback from the 1960?s. To make it worse, he bring his big bless'ed dog to work. Every bless'ed day I have to look at this HUGE bless'ed DOG! This thing usually walks around about ? stoned from the 2nd hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it?s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Both of them are constantly hungry and require multiple stops at McDonalds and Burger King.
Anyway, I drive these hillbillys around in my van, and we solve mysteries and poo.
Those of you who think you know it all upset those of us who do..
i've been searching for answers on whether or not .7zip and .rar files are lossy.
Just in case you don't know, a file being lossy means that over time, it will drop in quality. Mp3's are lossy. An mp3 downloaded to a harddrive in 2000 in 126kbps, will sound terrible if we opened it up today in 2010. Mp3's lose around 5 kbps of quality every year.
The reason why im trying to learn about whether or not .rar and .7zip flies are lossy is because I have recently stumbled upon the fact that many things are lossy, not only mp3s, like jpegs. Png is a lossless format of image files i think, and flac is a lossless format of music files.
So I'm wondering if there is such thing as something that compresses a file that will make it lossless. Like, if I compressed an mp3 126kbps file into 7zip format in 2000, and reopened that file now, would it still have retained most of it's sound quality? Or would it have not made any difference at all?
IF .7zip / winrar files are lossless, then could you backup a lossy format (jpeg/mp3) and not lose quality simply by archiving it in .7zip / winrar?
Well, music seems to be getting worse every year, so its quality is lossy that way, and then, on the broader scientific question, we're all lossy over time, and so all memory and data are lossy. But perhaps there are lossless things.:)
Karl is the best sport with those 2.
So to protect her self she decided to watch the film with her sunglasses on.
...for some reason no one thinks of beaming down a translator, shelter, or even some water. Archer has the Arkonians launch a shuttle modified to repel the power- shutting- down particles in the planets atmosphere...
For some reason people pushing grocery carts struck me as funny.
Maybe he was there to buy this :D:D :D :D :D Maybe.
What? You couldnt snap a pic and let us all see this 8th wonder?I wish I had taken a picture of him, but he was a walking around with (I assume) his granddaughter and his wife (she had a full head of puffy, grey hair :D) so I thought it would?ve been rude.
If she could only get a little of it in the bottle...where'd the rest go? Did you find a puddle next to your wet bar?
Nice! I like it.
I'm a creature of habit. I've had several avatars/sigs "donated" to me but the last time I changed was well over a year ago. Before that, my last "change" was probably 2-3 years ago. But keep it up man, I know others are benefiting from your hard work.
This my first userbar ;D
(http://img709.imageshack.us/img709/4395/leiwulong.gif)
TCN
Paul
Peace
I'm at the library and a guy a couple of tables over has fallen asleep and is snoring really loud..and comically. It sounds like fake joke snoring :DThat happened to me once during high school. We were doing our homework and one of the old men reading a newspaper, with a magnifying glass, started snoring very loudly. We had to run outside to laugh out loudly :D
http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1943137
i thought it was cool but maybe just me
It's over a week later.. and I'm till thinking about this :P I'm trying ot fiure out how dim I am... Is it a Halloween house? or, did someone take a Christmas house video from last year and do animated photoshop over parts of it?
I'd like to post in this thread but rarely does the opportunity arise. Now, if we had a 'Things that made you angry today' thead, I doubt I'd ever be out of it..
Others won't find it funny..
Today at dinner my missus said "It's my Christmas party next week and I have nothing to wear". My 4yr old daughter thought about this for a minute or 2 and then exclaimed "You have to go NAKED mummy?!".
Both my son and myself nearly choked on what we were chewing..
I snickered when Katie Holmes had to read Nicole Kidman's name as a nominee for best actress in a motion picture during the Golden Globe announcements.
angry? clenched teeth? fake happy?I think indifference. I really couldn't tell what she thought or how she felt. Maybe she should've been nominated for best actress yesterday. :D I thinking about what her internal voice was saying, that's why I snickered.
Maybe she should've been nominated for best actress yesterday. :D
Never, ever. :D She's an incredibly "nothing" when she acts.Agreed.
Maybe it's her sort of calmness... :-\You mean her catatonic-ness , right? :D ;)
You mean her catatonic-ness , right? :D ;)
Hehe, I must confess, I never ever noticed her acting. She had the "Winnie Cooper/Topanga Lawrence" appeal that got me every time.
The catatonic thing was funny because of the way she is now.. with the Scientology layer added to her.You ain't lying about that, Skadi! :D
If anything give him a screw driver and let him take it apart tell him what all the parts do and possibly even get it back together.
my grandmother. she gets more outrageous with age.
You know mishca's grandmother? ??? ???;) :D
Re: If you had powers, what would they be?
Death.
its horrible but i laughed at someone that almost fell in the snow today.
Yeah, that can be folly. I nearly did the same the other day but the person hadn't fallen, he had had a seizure :(whoops :-\ awkward moment.
It had been a long and tiring day yesterday. Last night, the kids asked me to tell them a story as we lay in bed. I kept nodding off and waking up to continue the story. After nodding off one more time, my younger son shook me awake and said, "Mommy, you're buffering again."
Says something about my internet connection, doesn't it? ;D
It had been a long and tiring day yesterday. Last night, the kids asked me to tell them a story as we lay in bed. I kept nodding off and waking up to continue the story. After nodding off one more time, my younger son shook me awake and said, "Mommy, you're buffering again."
Says something about my internet connection, doesn't it? ;D
It had been a long and tiring day yesterday. Last night, the kids asked me to tell them a story as we lay in bed. I kept nodding off and waking up to continue the story. After nodding off one more time, my younger son shook me awake and said, "Mommy, you're buffering again."
Says something about my internet connection, doesn't it? ;D
i could laugh or cry as i cannot get my daughters android tablet to work :'( :'(
cannot get into update mode as it will not start so i thought i could just reinstall the software
Hmph, just like goldie to brag about his 7 inches.;) not as big as your 10 inch though ;)
Oh, boy, I won't click on the link! :Dwhat boat :-\
This made me smile.(http://i968.photobucket.com/albums/ae166/xtopave/80958000.jpg)
Oh, boy, I won't click on the link! :D
This made me smile.
(http://i968.photobucket.com/albums/ae166/xtopave/80958000.jpg)
(http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k246/ohcheap1/air.jpg)
The cereal that we bought yesterday came with a toy. When I walked into the kitchen last night, I saw the U working furiously on the box with a fork, trying to get the toy out. "What are you doing?" I asked. Without slowing his pace, he said "The instructions on the bottom say breakfast so I'm trying to break it fast." :D
:D
You just helped me remember this little toy submarine I got out of a froot loops cereal box when I was maybe 6 or 7. :) I used to play with it in the bathtub :P
How very observant.
That wasn't so long ago, was it? ;D
Sorta begs to be asked what do you play with in the bathtub now.
A Brilliant Look at Transgenderism within an African-American Family
18 February 2011 | by equinizzle (United States)
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
In the vein of films like "Boys Don't Cry" and "Transamerica", "Big Momma's Like Father Like Son" dares to take on the taboo subject of transgenderism, a subject so often dodged by both mainstream and independent cinema. Yet this film dares to travel further into the taboo by displaying this theme with a backdrop of the relationship between an urban African- American father and son (a community that often shuns or ignores LGBT issues).
This dramatic comedy stars Martin Lawrence as Malcolm Turner, a frustrated man stuck behind his tough machismo identity, as both an FBI agent and African-American father. But the viewer quickly learns that the machismo displayed by Turner is guise to the true identity that liberates him, that of Hattie Mae Pierce, a confident large elderly black woman.
Unable to connect with his rapper son, brilliantly played by Brandon T. Jackson, the younger Turner is invited into his fathers secret world, when Hattie Mae Pierce takes a job at an all girls school, and insists he join him as a student under the guise of a female identity. But the line of Turner/Pierce's life between housemother and FBI agent becomes complicatedly blurred while trying to give her son a first hand understanding of her chosen lifestyle. Meanwhile the son grows increasingly tired of masking his true identity (thus finally understanding how his father feels) and ends up rejecting the transgender lifestyle for a cisgender one after falling in love with a female classmate.
As the film closes with Malcolm Turner finishing a final FBI case, father and son, n?e, mother and son, head back home, both equipped with a better understanding of who they and each other are and what their relationship truly means to one another. Bravo to director John Whitesell for making such an inspiring addition to LGBT cinema! 5/5 stars.
my backside and nuts are killing me :D
O the joy of cycling to work ;D
A review of "Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son" on imdb:That is brilliant! :D
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1464174/usercomments (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1464174/usercomments)
Yep. :)
the rude people at the movie theater.
New at dis messenger thing, hit meh up. No pic no talk, srry but ...
by Tad? April 12, 2011
New at dis messenger thing, hit meh up. No pic no talk, srry but no like get freaked out. hAMMAhxUxdOWN is duh username, mostly girls add plz. Shhotz.
Those cupcakes must be the bomb.
Someone asked if I was a lesbian while I was wrapped around my guy friend.
This made me smile. And yes, it's real. (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/4038118/Royal-Mint-launch-50p-explaining-offside-law.html)
(http://i40.tinypic.com/kxcup.jpg)
It is, however, wrong. If the player is deemed by the referee not to be interfering in play, then he is not offside.put that on a coin ;D ;D
I subscribe to the Shankly dictum: "if he isn't interfering in play, then he shouldn't be on the field".
No, he's a total guy.Is he so masculine, he could be gay?
I thought dental care was free for children?
Bloody waiter threw it away di'n't he.
You wish you had tipped him more, don't you? :D
it was a certain weeny girl who wrapped it in a serviette and left it next to used serviettes
Ouch, smokester, and you work with your hands! :-\
She's definitely getting the estate.
The view from the room was poor and obscured by iron bars. Facilities were rudimentary to say the least - no television, mini bar or ensuite facilities. Due to overbooking I was forced to share with a rather charmless individual by the name of "Mike the Hatchet" who was keen to know why my stay was so short. I sought out the shower facilities in the morning and had to queue and was then told "not to bend down for the soap" by a somewhat surly member of staff. When I went to check out I was interviewed by a panel of 3 people who asked a lot of strange questions such as whether I had kept my nose clean etc. For some reason my departure was met with some unruliness by the other guests who banged their mugs against the iron bars and shouted obscenities. The only plus point was that after checkout I discovered that reception had forgotten to charge me for my stay. even though my stay was free I.m afraid I cannot recommend this establishment.
^ hopefully excluding the "don't bend over for the soap" part ;D
back in those days you were lucky to wake up in a bed ;D
http://www.wimp.com/addamsfamily/ (http://www.wimp.com/addamsfamily/)
That bird's got great compound rhythm. And not a bad ear too.
Thank you 6p..
my niece voice gets deeper and somewhat demonic when she sees something she likes and when her mom brought the cake over she said "caaaaaaakeee" kind of creepy but super funny and cute.my daughter go quite the opposite . she goes so high
My daughter smiled in her sleep. It was so cute and innocent. She then proceeded to fill her diaper rather loudly... No wonder the smile...
My daughter smiled in her sleep. It was so cute and innocent. She then proceeded to fill her diaper rather loudly... No wonder the smile...rrrrrrrrrr so long ago for me . welcome Autumn
Check out Spiderman's ass:How do you all find larger sizes of a posted image. I know how to use a reverse image search, I wondered if that was the only tool for things like that.
(http://regmedia.co.uk/2012/07/31/videogames_you_may_have_missed_1.jpg)
:D
http://www.reghardware.com/2012/08/07/review_ten_console_games_you_may_have_missed/
Tonight was the first time I went to a church in a long time. The pastor/priest/I'm not sure what he's called wanted people to donate money to put women's names who have abortions in the newspaper. I then made God proud by not slapping him across the face. It also reminded me why I don't go to church.
Read this on one of my former Girl Scouts FB page. Made me very proud:
I learned today that in England fanny = vagina. So what does butt mean, Im confused.hit or push against with the head ( head butt)
I'm not that old.
I have 2 excellent "fanny pack's" as you Americans call them. fantastic name by the way,
we call them bum bags.
(http://i245.photobucket.com/albums/gg70/goldshirt9/6890474_700b_zpsb3c5dc49.jpg)
a classic ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
^ That was lip-curling good. Very thorough... Or is that thourough?And who would you like it signed too ;D
And where can I get an autographed Bible of my very own?
The Creepiest Things a Child Has Ever Said (http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/the-creepiest-things-a-child-has-ever-said-to-a-parent)
Im loving #4!!
Adrianna sneezed peas at me.ha ha ha
wife spotted this whilst walking the dogs in a local window
wife spotted this whilst walking the dogs in a local window
Adrianna claps now.
Adrianna claps now.
:o You better stay at home. Otherwise a camel is likely to pee on you.:D
for those who know who I am enjoy
Nyuck, nyuck.I don't know if I should laugh or curse your name
Have you ever seen Greg the Bunny? The Count on that show is brilliant. It was on Fox, but like most good shows on Fox, it got yanked after half a season.
edited by dweez: fixt the yt embed
Great to see you made it! :Dthx man good to "see you" and all my good friends
Seeing you on here brother bear :Dbabe of babes, how are you?
There were two racks of football shirts in a shop. In one rack the shirts were less than half the price. They were from England, Spain and Italy.
I have an England Shirt from the 1994 World Cup. They made some shirts of the most popular nations (well, at least the nations that they thought most likely to sell) and sold them in the US, before England failed to qualify. I delighted in the irony and snapped one up, just so that I could make posts like this one twenty years later.
Portugal still at a premium?
Madonna falling over at the Brits.
We discovered an easter egg: askew (https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=askew&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&gws_rd=cr&ei=5HL9VPHwCcXm7gaV3oHYAw)
Nice!
My daughter was playing with a friend and she said "Run for your life! The politicians are coming!" So I asked her where did she get that. She said "Nowhere mum. I just made that up." Somehow I suspect she must have heard something I said. :D
WTF is this (https://www.rosegal.com/mens-hoodies-sweatshirts/kangaroo-pocket-human-body-3d-print-funny-hoodie-1997994.html?lkid=542918&gclid=Cj0KCQiAuf7fBRD7ARIsACqb8w5zFie2gLapGK-Bh18guecf2aYMBiXi9zOLKQfm_ayomk1SWqSlawYaAjSxEALw_wcB)?!how the flip did you even find that :o :o :o :o
how the flip did you even find that :o :o :o :o
(https://i.imgur.com/pOWyMkG.jpg)
8ully's dog.And I agree. ♾
So, as we're locked down indefinitely, I decided to treat myself and I bought myself this:
https://www.samsung.com/uk/monitors/curved-cj890/
I had to wait a few days as it came from the Czech Replublic but it was well worth to see the smile on the young delivery man's face - and he was wearing a surgical mask. He was just stood at my door in a standing legs-crossed stance, resting a hand on the box which was on-end with the picture of what was inside emblazened on the packaging. He was grinning so hard under the mask the his eyes were just slits.
Priceless.
I want to say what that person should inject himself with, but I don't want a visit from the secret service.This ;D ;D ;D ;D
Fun fact: A site I was a member on during Bush II, second term, Threatened Bush II. Not only did the secret service try to track the user down, they had an interview with the site owner as well.
That user was named "shitfuck." That's right, a website operator had to deal with the secret service over a user named "shitfuck"
So I'll try to avoid directly threatening the person who suggested INJECTING DISINFECTANTS today. Also, the sun magically kills illness now, despite the fact that standing and REAL medical advice on this is that the virus doesn't give a flying golly what climate you're in.
Yes. All of these cures can be added to the list of holding your breath for 10 seconds. It's grand, really, to know that such a powerful rich country has a moron in charge.There are no cures what so ever, SOCIAL distancing does work, Upsetting that it is but tough.
There are no cures what so ever, SOCIAL distancing does work, Upsetting that it is but tough.
Should show some pictures of the worst cases, most would be shocked to see what the virus can and does do.
Quite honestly, my dentist appointment today was at 2.30.
Haha, nice.
How appropriate.
Was she oriental?
D-ental...hygienist?
Mom watches every one of their videos.
They also rescued Tico, he used to live with a smoker.
Give it up for Tico, the singing parrot. He has a compelling take on an old favorite.Tico definitely made me smile, glad I just so happened to dig up its position. 8ully, good insight into his bio too, thanks for that.
Sometimes craigslist's free section is a real hoot.
This guy is trying to give away a Pumpkin pie, except he thinks it sucks. Surely he'll be overwhelmed with takers with such salesmanship skills.
https://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/zip/d/san-francisco-very-mediocre-pumpkin-pie/7714736797.html (https://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/zip/d/san-francisco-very-mediocre-pumpkin-pie/7714736797.html)
"Independently published" explains a good deal about the lack of spell checking of the title.
Joke heard this morning.
What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
A: a chicken sees a salad. (This should be read in a Boston accent.)
Joke heard this morning.
What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce?
A: a chicken sees a salad. (This should be read in a Boston accent.)
Have you come across Anne Cleeves yet? She has similarly raised the death rates in Northumberland (Vera) Shetland (Shetland - Jimmy Perez) and Devon (Two Rivers - Matthew Venn)We are very well acquainted with Vera (who calls everyone "Pet") and Shetland. My husband much prefers Shetland to Vera, but sadly, the local public television station seems to prefer Vera. We've never seen Devon, so thank you for that, since it presents an alternative that we'll probably enjoy. Between falling asleep in the middle of the shows and not seeing them for a sustained interval, we end up watching the same episodes repeatedly and eventually, since we know the outcome, it's not as fun, so a new detective series will be very welcome.
An airplane was about to crash. There were four passengers on board, but only three parachutes.
The first passenger said, 'I am Steph Curry, the best NBA basketball player. The Warriors and my millions of fans need me, and I can't afford to die.' So he took the first pack and left the plane.
The second passenger, Donald Trump, said, 'I am the newly-elected US President, and I am the smartest president in American history, so my people don't want me to die.' He took the second pack and jumped out of the plane.
The third passenger, the Pope, said to the fourth passenger, a 10-year-old schoolboy, 'My son, I am old and don't have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.'
The little boy said, 'That's okay, Your Holiness, there's a parachute left for you. America 's smartest president took my schoolbag...'
The series set in Devon doesn't have a unifying name yet: AC calls the series "The Two Rivers", but on TV (I think) only one (The Long Call) has yet been shown.
What struck me about this one was the concept of a "subway bridge".
Q: what do sea monsters eat?
A: fish and ships.
From a slightly different angle, this made me laugh today, when I saw it elsewhere:
I agree. Not funny, on reflection. Another applicable quote, from a chap called Robert Sapolsky (in a book called "Behave" - well worth a read (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Behave_(book))):
We’re really out there as a species in that sometimes our high status individuals don’t merely plunder and instead actually lead, actually attempt to facilitate the common good. We’ve even developed bottom-up mechanisms for collectively choosing such leaders on occasion. A magnificent achievement. Which we then soil by having our choosing our leaders be shaped by implicit, automatic factors more suitable to five-year-olds deciding who should captain their boat on a voyage with the Teletubbies to Candyland.
(https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/n8a1z2pqlnhebochyyvqi/Braille.png?rlkey=pzss8tdsfb06y4p596watvunb&raw=1)Quoting so it doesn't disappear. Nyuck nyuck!
I'm reading a book about gravity...it's pretty heavy.
"My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her."
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I'm waiting ...
Yeah. I blame those reality shows for the death of good sportsmanship. What ever happened to "let the best man win?" Now it's all snarky "I was robbed, I should have won, the judges were unfair! I DID win the election. It was stolen from me."
I'd love to see the nails hammered into that coffin.
That's funny!
I asked Siri for directions somewhere the other day and he threw in a helpful comment -- "speed camera detected." Usually I find this Apple robot nearly useless, but in that moment he totally redeemed himself. (I selected the male voice with British accent). I believe there are apps that can function like radar detectors and need to do a little digging to upgrade this aspect of the navigation. This town has multiple speed cameras that work weekdays from 8 - 6, so I'd like to know where to avoid them, having recently paid the price for my unawareness.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Sticking to the football theme:
What the difference between the Scottish and a triangle:
That sailed right over my head. :)
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
That's one docile iguana.
I was driving home yesterday and saw a car with this sign:
"No baby on board
It's ok to hit our car."
“Mr. Jones, I have to complain
About your ten-year old son.
He’s playing doctor with my daughter.”
Mr. Jones said, “That’s how it’s done.
Kids explore sexuality.
I don’t see what’s the matter.”
“Exploring sexuality, hell.
He took out her gall bladder.”