Windows 10 is rejecting my USB hardware on boot.
Which is bad, because all my stuff is USB, I don't think I even own anything that has a Mini-DIN.
So I did the stupid windows repair thing, it said it couldn't find a problem and I needed to restart. Thankfully, boot up #4 solved this for me.
Oh, the super low-tech way I'm testing this is Numlk. Little LED lights up, I'm in business. If it doesn't, no input.
I do wonder what this is. I heard that 1903 messes with NETWORKING equipment, but that's a USB stick too!
[UPDATE]
Windows didn't like my wireless adapter, I plugged it into a different USB port and the problem went away. Stupid windows.