Topic: Messing with telemarketers/scammers

[mishca09]

I think vengeful family member has sold our emails and telephone numbers because we have gotten a high increase in email spam and marketing calls.

Anyway. One just called now, I knew I shouldn't have picked up but I did. I put my thickest Long Island gum popping accent into effect immediately start yelling "jimmmmmmmmmy, jimmmmmmmmy are yous there? "
I repeat it a couple times. the guy is all like yes I'm here I want to talk to you about your Microsoft computer
"Jimmmmmmy yous have to hurry up, ya wife is pregant she's in laaaayba (labor ). She needs yous"

Scammer: ma'am...

Me: jimmmmy don't worry she forgives you for the mistress. She knows shes pregnant she still loves you. You need to go to your wife she's in labor jimmmmmy.

Scammer: MY NAME IS JOHN...
Me: Johnnnny go to your mothas (mothers) she's needs you right now. Johnny you

Scammer hangs up.

Hopefully he added us to the do not call list. Now I feel like listening to the jerky boys prank calls or watching movie.

[brickbatz]

A piercing blast from a 135 db boat air horn might give them a hint.

[mishca09]

They would probably hang up immediately.

[xtopave]

LOL, mishca, you should have recorded that!

One of my methods involves asking questions back at them. For example:

Person: "Do you use the internet"

xtopave: "Of course I do. Don't you use it too? What is your ISP atm?

Person: silence for several seconds and:  Er...

xtopave: "Are you satisfied with their service"

Person: silence again.

[mishca09]

I will have to try your method next xt. although we didn't receive any calls today, I'm hoping hes spread the word.

[xtopave]

Today a got a call from a lady with a grave voice (radio voice) speaking so slowly and sedately I thought it was recorded. She was offering me some funeral services. I thought it was a prank but she mentioned a company I actually know and very specific information. I had to put my hand in my mouth and tried not to giggle.

[8ullfrog]

It's a large industry with a guaranteed client base. And I'm not being sarcastic.

Pop me in a cardboard box and burn me when I die. Granted, I do respect what morticians and funeral directors do, and have to deal with, dang.

I think the worst revelation, worse than the organ draining, was the razor blades they use to keep the eyes on the corpse shut. It's like velcro, for the eyelid.

[brickbatz]

Wish they could all be like the guy that called tonight wanting to give me a good deal on Sunday newspaper delivery.

I said "I can't"

He said "Why not?"

I said "That's my business."

He said "OK cowboy, have a good evening."

[mishca09]

breast cancer foundation called again. I've asked repeatedly that they take us off the list. so this time I answered the phone and when she said hello I said "Chicken Titties" and I kept repeating it til she hung up.

[6pairsofshoes]

That's great.

Maybe you could start reading from the Bible next time.

[mishca09]

will try that next time if they haven't put us on the do not call list.

[smokester]

We don't usually get "chuggers" cold calling.  Most of the spam I get by phone is either PPI claims or ambulance chasers

[smokester]

Tip: don't answer the phone from an ambulance.

... especially not whilst being chased.

Do you get chuggers down there with the cattle?