Topic: The Never Ending Story part 2 ( or Biddy's Revenge)

[Robin-Graves]

bewildered and smelly, saluted smartly and started gibbering in his monkey language at Bush.
 Putting the coccain down,Bush stared intently at the gibbering monkey.
Biddy,stopping giving the wedgie,turned Bush's boxerslooseandlooked on in amazement.
The Monkey was actualy talkingto Bush,and Bush was understanding!
"Thats what is wrong with this guy,his brain is the same as a simians!"
 This answered many questions,,such as,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Sophocles]

why did the chicken cross the road? and...

[Robin-Graves]

and can you be "illegaly blind?"

[Sophocles]

and, is it cruel to shoot penguins out of cannons? 

[Robin-Graves]

And if so,what about kittens?

[Sophocles]

For all those interested, the answer is a resounding NO to all the above, apart from the chicken question.  For anyone still wondering about the chicken question, well... you need help. 

But all this is fairly irrelevant (unless you're still having issues about exactly why did the chicken cross the road, and have since become a somnambulating zombie and institutionalised as a result of trying to figure out the answer).  Irrelevant for Biddy anyway.  Irrelevant because Biddy was looking from Bush monkey to poo monkey and desperately consulting his New Unabridged Simian Dictionary, and failing desperately to comprehend a word that was being passed from the lips of these two losers.  Anyway... 

[Robin-Graves]

Bush and the monkt chatered away.
Evicently,they were telling each other dirty jokes,which sounded very dirty concidering the situation.
 Biddy ,feeling left out ( likethats anything new) broke out his trusty book of The Worlds Dirtiest Jokes and started rifling through its vegimite stained pages settling one particular joke.
This joke was once uttered by Rincewind on the Discworld opening a rift to the Dungeon Dimentions,unleashing all kinds of tenticaled and scaley horrors until a dwarf named Modo drove them back with his trusty pair of garden shears.
 This though, was after the mulching incident which costed several minor wizards and three students ( one of which was a former dwarf bread maker named Weakinthabum) there very souls. Wich , as they saw it, wasnt a bad thing since they werent using them anyway.
 This joke was original written durring World War Two by a comic genious named Hans Grund to defeat the British during the little known battle of Wanda's dame House and Petting Zoo.
 More on that battlemuch much much much later though.
 The mere utterance of the punchline causd massive internal bleading from the laughter it caused,resulting in the colon rising up and throtling the brain of the listener.
 Biddy took a deap breath and read this ancient and alien pies of humor it went like this,,,,,,,,,,,,

[Sophocles]

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

<Unfortunately I've had to edit this post on the behest of the moderator; something about not wanting to encourage a potentiality whereby brains could be throttled by colons...

Bah to censorship!    But since I don't fancy being beaten by the banning stick, I've acquiesced and omitted the punch line - Sorry! > 


So, anyway... 

[Robin-Graves]

Bush and the monkt chatered away.
Evicently,they were telling each other dirty jokes,which sounded very dirty concidering the situation.
 Biddy ,feeling left out ( likethats anything new) broke out his trusty book of The Worlds Dirtiest Jokes and started rifling through its vegimite stained pages settling one particular joke.
This joke was once uttered by Rincewind on the Discworld opening a rift to the Dungeon Dimentions,unleashing all kinds of tenticaled and scaley horrors until a dwarf named Modo drove them back with his trusty pair of garden shears.
 This though, was after the mulching incident which costed several minor wizards and three students ( one of which was a former dwarf bread maker named Weakinthabum) there very souls. Wich , as they saw it, wasnt a bad thing since they werent using them anyway.
 This joke was original written durring World War Two by a comic genious named Hans Grund to defeat the British during the little known battle of Wanda's dame House and Petting Zoo.
 More on that battlemuch much much much later though.
 The mere utterance of the punchline causd massive internal bleading from the laughter it caused,resulting in the colon rising up and throtling the brain of the listener.
 Biddy took a deap breath and read this ancient and alien pies of humor it went like this,,,,,,,,,,,,

Off topic and all guys,,but poo!
I did this passage when I was on anti depressants,,damn and I need to take more and write a book!
Id need an editor to fix the typos,,but DAMN!


Ok back on topic

 The monky  started laughing so hard,,his ears were bleeding!

Bush just look confused in his typical Bush way, untill a rift opened and a spikey scaley tentical came out and whisked his soul away into the bowels of Hell.
 The monkey,startled,,chatered hystericaly even more, that is until he died of internal bleeding and his brain being throttled by his colon, ( crappy way to die, )
Biddy,,looking on in horror,just froze.
Six hours later,,Bush handed Biddy a tray of white powder scraped into neat little lines.
" Heer yoo go pardner, this stuf'll fix yoo rite up"
Biddy,,,,,,,

[cz85b]

OFF topic!!  Robin, that was comedic GENIUS!  LMAO

Back on...

was so busy wondering why he did not hear "NUKULAR" n when Bush appeared from the depths of HELL smelling of brimstone...  that he did not mind his manners one little bit as he snorted all of the white powder on the mirror..

"How did you manage that?" Biddy asked, and Bush went on about how some old guy named richard took care of everything, and his soul would not be needed for another 40-50 years...

Time to do more

[Sophocles]

time travelling, but first Biddy wanted to do some more coke.  But...

Biddy suddenly noticed something!!  (and this was on-topic... oh hang on, not it wasn't...  this was on top of Bush's shoulders     )

Looking more carefully at Bush, he could now see that Bush had a monkey on his back.  Now we're not talking about the dead monkey on the floor (whose brains were still being bludgeoned by an overzealous colon), or any type of typographical monkey for that matter.  No!, we are talking about a Coke Monkey. 

As any person knows, a coke monkey is a truly despicable and nasty creature for the following reasons:

1. They refused to bash out the complete works of Shakespeare. 
2. They have a rather unsociable idiosyncrasy of jumping on people's backs and then selling the soul to the highest bidder.   
3. They were, more often than not, invisible. 

Number 3 made these nasty little critters a difficult phenomena to deal with.  So it is strange that Biddy could see it now, but... 

[Robin-Graves]

this is a story about the imposible being possible.
I mean,,who can actualy say they have mnet a dog with three testicles?
Not me,,and ive been around some.
 But nontheless ( very cool word to throw into places like this sentence) Biddy saw the invisible monkey.
Or rather smelled it, since it smelled like vegimite ( amazing how that awfull substance makes its way into this story in convenient times).
Vegimite is a horrid substance made from , well,my guess is sheep droppings, in a country called Australia.
This is an amazing place, but more on that later.
Biddy "sensed" this back humping monkey and was looking around furiously  for something to bludgeon it to death with .
But alas ( another cool word to put in a sentence to make it seem classier) nothing was found.
Sooo,,being the ultra cool kinda world traveling super hero type doggie that Biddy was,, he told the forbiddin joke,,once more, taking the chance that Bush didnt have a brain to be throttled and bludgeoned to death by his colon ( crappy way to die ill tell you that much>
After the punchline was said,,Bush just looked confused as the monky burst into a fine red mist ( new side effect,,howd you like it? lol) .
This experiment proved that even Bush,,being the bottom he was, had no brain.
He was just hellbent on being a president of a free country and destroying it any way he could.
This is because Bush weasnt a human, he was a collection of small organisms  from the planet Dumasia.
Where all they aspire to do is becoime president of a free country, and destroy it willie nillie any way they can.
This is of course due to their local religion called "The Sacred Chao".
 This is not to be confused with Discordianism,,which to some is an honorable belief.
 Biddy,took all this is, and was starting to figure things out. WHat was  REALLY going on was this: The world was ,,,,,,,,,,,,,

OFF topic!!  Robin, that was comedic GENIUS!  LMAO

Back on...

was so busy wondering why he did not hear "NUKULAR" n when Bush appeared from the depths of HELL smelling of brimstone...  that he did not mind his manners one little bit as he snorted all of the white powder on the mirror..

"How did you manage that?" Biddy asked, and Bush went on about how some old guy named richard took care of everything, and his soul would not be needed for another 40-50 years...

Time to do more

Thank you,,I apreciate it.

[Sophocles]

nothing more than a metaphorical atom in a grain of sand upon a beach that was the universe.  To make things worse, there were an infinite number of these metaphorical beaches.  This made Biddy's head spin and almost had the same effect upon him as the brain exploding joke.

Anyway, having ascertained that Bush was merely an assemblage of small organisms from the planet Dumasia, Biddy adroitly whipped out of his back pocket his trusty can of "Small Organism Repellent" (which he always keeps there in case of emergencies like this), and sprayed the little malicious arseholes until the can was completely empty. 

Biddy looked on in amazement as Bush, right before his eyes, started to... 

[Robin-Graves]

turn into Carl Sagan.
This would be surprising only if...

[Robin-Graves]

Carl Sagan didnt look so much like a monkey.
 Biddy felt this strange eirie feeling, this craving for things he knew were bad for him.
He broke out in a sweat, his head was a ching, and his hands were trembling.
Oh No!!! Biddy realized that while he was watching the halucination of Bush turning into a beloved astronomer that he now himself, had a monkey on his back!!!!
 The whole thing was a ruse so that the evil monkey emperor Sarnak could get his infernal grip on our beloved hero!
Only one thing to do! It was to ,,,,,,