Topic: Boys in blue

[indie180]

Got busted for speeding today. 

I was doing 51 mph in a 30 mph zone, which might sound bad.

But there is only one road into the place where I stay and it is about a mile long up a hill so steep I have boarded down the middle of the road before, there is a single pavement down one side with no house's only fields on either side. I will take a few snap of it.

There were two cop's, good cop, bad cop, what an bottom the bad one was. I managed to talk my way out of an on the stop fine, I will know within six month if I am going to court or not.

[smokester]

It never rains, but it bless'ed pisses down.

[indie180]

It never rains, but it bless'ed pisses down.

QFT

They wave me down, so I pull in they start to reverse back, all the other cars are weaving out and in between the two of us. This is the start of it.

Me I will pull in up the road a bit down the side street.
Cop That means I will have to reverse up there or walk up.

So the cars are parked.

Cop Name and address.
Me Why, all you have to do is punch in my registration number and you will get all the info you need.
Cop It doesn't work that way.
Me Yes it does. Enter the plate and it will access the police national database, the DVLA database, the insurance database and MI5's database within 4 seconds.
Cop Where do you get your information, your bless'ed smart.
Me A lot bless'ed smarter then you, going by the glaikit look on your face.
Cop We have a right smart scallywag here.
Me Told your before, a lot smarter than you.

They do their check's me and the car are totally legal.

Me After you have checked my tyres you should check you own.
Cop What do you mean I check the pressure in them this morning.
Me Your back tyre is bald.
Cop No it's not, there is 1.6mm thread on it, I checked this morning.
Me So where are the six tyre wear indicators across the full tyre.
Cop That's it I have had enough of your "ya smart scallywag, I sending a report to the Procurator Fiscal, I'm going to get you done with reckless driving"
Me Are we done here, have a nice day.

His manner and attitude were terrible (I didn't help I suppose), if he had been cool and nice, I would I put my hand up and said guilty I was speeding. There was a bit more said then this to get my back up and the place where they had their speed trap was in the wrong place it should have been in the main street not the access road.

 

[smokester]

Traffic cops? or chancers?

Traffic cops are the most ingorant of all coppers and they cannot see reason if it smacked them in the face - which is what I wish it would do.  I have been nicked at 38 in a 30mph twice by the same plonker and he started a personal crusade against me.  He used to hide behind a boarding (motorcyles don't forget) every morning and wait for me going to work. He knew when I was late too so he'd move on a bit as he knew when I didn't see him in the usual place, I'd hack it down the A40 and he'd catch me in full flight.  I paid out more money on fines, than I did on petrol.

[indie180]

Funny you should say that.

When I mention the tyre's he said "don't tell your granny how to suck eggs" (it's a Scottish saying, don't know if you have heard it before) and that he had been in traffic for 15 yrs and was only back on the beat for 2 month's, the other cop was a local one who I have seen before and he was ok about everything, explaining that they had a few complaint about speeding cars, but he knew it is all the young ones that fly about the place (I think he would have let me off with a warning  )

I went back out and tried to go up the hill at 30 mhp I was in third gear and I tried to explain that to him.

Your right traffic cops are thick as golly, that's why they are in traffic they are not smart enough to do real police work.

[JackFrost]

I like the way you handled that cop, indie. 

I especially liked that part where you pointed out that his tires were inadequate... 

[ohcheap1]

And another difference between here vs there. The first smart ass word out of your mouth to any police officer in the States and you're done. I actually have to psych myself out while Im waiting for them to walk from their car to mine to keep my mouth SHUT. I know that comes as a surprise......... Answer their questions as "kiss assedly" as you can and then and only then can you make causal conversation. Kinda like giving a dog a bone. Once they are laying down knawing at it you might be able to get away.

[dweez]

* dweez reads oc1's statement and nods his head furiously

My name is dweez and I approve of this message

[smokester]

Police over here don't carry guns, so what they gonna do?

When I have had the misfortune to be talked to by the fuzz in mainland Europe, those shiny weapons in holsters do have a way of make what comes out of one's mouth more.. "polite".  Where I live is one of the toughest boroughs in London, but the police are real gentlemen and actually quite helpful.  But as I have mentioned before, traffic cops are just born to be ignorant sons of bitches.

[ohcheap1]

The weapons has absolutely nothing to do with my intimidation. It the monitary value of the ticket they are gonna write you!! 

[smokester]

The weapons has absolutely nothing to do with my intimidation. It the monitary value of the ticket they are gonna write you!! 

If they are going to give you a fine anyway, you should have the right to tell them exactly what you think of them in a manner that wouldn't be considered "polite".  I haven't had the bottle to do that with armed police as it would undoubtedly be folly.

[dweez]

The weapons has absolutely nothing to do with my intimidation. It the monitary value of the ticket they are gonna write you!! 

And they poo they can put you through to make your life miserable.

[ohcheap1]

If they are going to give you a fine anyway, you should have the right to tell them exactly what you think of them in a manner that wouldn't be considered "polite".  I haven't had the bottle to do that with armed police as it would undoubtedly be folly.

Oh no...it is not just "A" fine. It will be unsurmountable by the time they are through with you if you dont keep your yap shut. And, if someone were to put in as much of their .02 as Indie did I wouldnt be surprised if they hauled your ass to jail labeling "probable intoxication"

[smokester]

I have told traffic cops that were taking the piss by writing the ticket out at a snail's pace, that they have 5 minutes and then I am off and they'll just have to catch me (which they couldn't). I very nearly did it once but thought better of it, and opted instead to walk over to a hamburger stall and chat to the guy there while the Frank "Ponch" Poncherello wannabee was still writing.  I shouted over for him to take his time as my tea was too hot - loved the look on his face when I did.

[JackFrost]

I jaywalked across a street near the campus where I work because there were no cars coming either way. However, I also didn't notice the motorcycle cop on her bike on the other side.

She came cruising up to me on the sidewalk riding against the flow of traffic.

"Y'know that's really dangerous jaywalking like that," she tells me.
"Really?" I say, incredulously, "Anything like riding your bike against traffic flow on a path designated for pedestrians? Worse or better?"
She cleared her throat and began immediately issuing me a citation.
"You know, I'm a big boy and I can look both ways before crossing?"
"There are signs posted that forbid jaywalking."
"Yes, and they're just as ridiculous. Y'know, you seem like an intelligent lady," I told her, "it's a shame that you're wasting your time on crap like this."

She wordlessly hands me the ticket and I've never seen her sitting on that street since.