Topic: The "What's up, Doc..?" thread...

[MisterAJ]

In this thread:

We tell about our experiences with medical professionals/personnel, good and bad...


Went to the Doc the other day, had this lump of fat or something under my earlobe... (no biggy really)
Except it's started to get infected, and I couldn't take care of it myself without using a knife, and with all the arteries
in that general area, and me not being a very skilled surgeon, I went to him to get him to do it...

He said: "We'll just poke a hole in it, no need for stitches..."
Offered me local anesthetic, I said needle probably hurt as much as the poke itself, just bless'ed do it...
He did... told me to hang around for 10-15 min., to make sure the bleeding stopped...
I did, and then I discovered that he'd done a shitty job, the lump was still there...
He went at it again, no anesthetic, just a poke... slapped on a bandage and told me to wear it for 2-3 hours...

When I removed it... Yeah, thats right... the bless'ed lump was still there...

Today I'm going to another doctor... hopefully one who knows what (s)he's doing...

[frankcapri]

Don't want to joke about your misfortune, but you probably could have done a better job yourself 

I think I told this story somewhere, but I'll tell it again.


It was probably 7 years ago and my insurance was going to run out because I quit my job.
I went in and had a full physical (I had no regular doctor when I had insurance). 

I was nervous about having my balls fondled and a finger stuck up my butt, but I had braced myself for the worst.
What I hadn't braced myself for was the doctor. 

He was probably in his 40's, thinning hair, lanky and glistening with sweat for no reason.

"So, this will be the first man that sticks his finger up my butt besides me. Oh well..."

We chit chat a little, I ask him about this weird scar on my leg and some odd little moles I noticed.
He says they're not a problem, but I had to make sure I took care of my "delicate Irish skin."

As he grabbed for the gloves, I said, "No thanks," and went to have my blood work done. 

[MisterAJ]

UUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh...

Good call, mate...

Don't want to joke about your misfortune, but you probably could have done a better job yourself 

Yeah, I think so too...

[frankcapri]

Good luck with your next doctor.  I doubt he or she could be any worse 


I had a filling replaced a couple of weeks ago.  The satellite radio station was tuned to a Contemporary Christian Rock & Pop station
while I underwent the procedure.  I added the experience to my "this is what happens to you in hell" file.

[knownassociate]

Heh, speaking medically, I understand you wanted me to ....er..check your pulse or something, AJ?  

[knownassociate]

Aren't dentists offices included in the River Styx Hell Tours?

[frankcapri]

Yup, and everyone gets their own personal lawyer *hisssssssssssss*

[MisterAJ]

Good luck with your next doctor.  I doubt he or she could be any worse 

*Knock on wood...

Heh, speaking medically, I understand you wanted me to ....er..check your pulse or something, AJ? 

 

Aren't dentists offices included in the River Styx Hell Tours?

Yup, and everyone gets their own personal lawyer *hisssssssssssss*

And in order to get anywhere, you first have to get an approval from the central bureaucracy
and then manage to convey a rational thought to a doorman...

[knownassociate]

Rational? Well that lets me out.

[MisterAJ]

Rational? Well that is impossible with these steroid muppets

FIXED

[knownassociate]

  How's your ear? Is your ear pierced? I mean before the doctor?

[dweez]

I don't know about pierced but it sounds like it's "lanced".

[laama]

Yup, and everyone gets their own personal lawyer *hisssssssssssss*

[MisterAJ]

How's your ear? Is your ear pierced? I mean before the doctor?

No...

I don't know about pierced but it sounds like it's "lanced".

A little bit... but not enough... thats the problem... 

But I talked to another doc yesterday, I know him a little from the pub-quiz's he attends...

He's on call this weekend, and if he's not busy tomorrow, I'll swing by and get it done...

He's a good doc... 

[smokester]

Judging by where it is I guess you have a "sebaceous cyst" AJ?  If so they usually pop by themselves especially when they start to get a little sore.  They are far, far from uncommon if indeed that is what you have, and you should try to ingore it unless it grows a face and starts talking to you.

I have had good experiences with the doctors I have been registered with over the years (will you Americans stop slagging off our NHS as it is now nearly front page news!), but I had to see a back specialist a couple of years ago and this 28 - 29ish, very attractive female consultant examined me and said "I hope you don't mind me saying Mr ***, but you are carrying a few extra pounds so I suggest you lose some weight and do some Pilates".  Cheeky effing cow!! at worst I am half a stone.. all right, maybe a stone overweight, but nowhere near enough to explain the back problems I was having, and WTF have Pirates got to do it?  I was a little pissed off so I demanded a second opinion and an MRI (that'll teach the NHS) but the problem has since disappeared.