The Hidden - (1987)
DAYUM was that a movie. I don't want to ruin it, but I can't even begin to describe it without spoilers.. It's got Danny Trejo in a five second cameo, in a shitty brown wig! And the rifle stormtroopers use, in it's actual configuration! (Sterling SMG)
There are a lot of guns in this movie, and they get put to work.
Sometimes it felt like the movie was dragging, and then I realized it's because I'm used to movies ping-ponging between scenes at high speed. For instance, there is an absolutely fantastic roof chase that extends to exactly ONE roof. Not 20, where the protaganist has to hero jump and roll between different gradiants.
I really, really liked this movie. It's got Claudia Christian in a role that I never thought I'd see Claudia Christian in. dang!
Mulders dad shows up!
A police bullpen with ZERO COMPUTERS!
And a Ferrari salesman who keeps cocaine in the trunk of a small model ferrari. Because the bad guy likes ferraris!
Seriously, that's how the cops track him. He always steals ferraris.
This movie makes Terminator look like it was written by CHUMPS!
It EVEN HAS AN EVIL DOG!
Leviathan - 1989.
Robocop and Ernie Hudson vs. The thing. UNDERWATER.
Oh, and Daniel Stern is a total garbage bless'ed human in this movie. He's the first to die, and his coworkers don't shed a tear.
Not a good movie, but it hit this weird merchandising convegance I've noticed in other films. People kit together weapons that would be absolutely awesome for a tie-in toy. In this case, they use deep sea drilling robot claws and turn them into flamethrowers... for some reason.
huh, nope, no action figures here. Must have mixed it up with that virus movie from '98.
These robo-flamers are not particularly effective against the monster, who once it eats you, it adapts your distinctiveness to it's own.
The ending was poo too. This monster, who at this point is presumably unstoppable, is free to go about it's business while robocop and female survivor punch the CEO and walk away.
TO WHERE? YOU'RE ON AN OIL PLATFORM. THERE IS NO AWAY.
Sleepwalkers - 1992. Steven King has some REALLY effective nightmares in that noggin, and you can totally see it for yourself in this film. It's a king typical. Big house, overgrown yard, Bear traps, dead cats. Wait, WHAT?
Oh yeah, this one is about ̶v̶a̶m̶p̶i̶r̶e̶s̶. Er, Catpires? Anyway yeah. You've got your usual King creepy sexual innuendo that the boy Catpire is totally boning his mom, the borg queen Alice Krige.
I have a strong feeling these makeup effects, and general film attitude were adapted to the TV version of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. I'd previously heard comparisons to Pitt bulls or the T-rex from Jurassic park, but when the Pretending to be a teenager VampCatBoy goes monster face, it's damn near identical to a BTVS vamp on the show.
So, the cats.
The cats are these VampCatPires only weakness. Pop one of their eyes with a wine corkscrew, and they'll madam about their shirt being ruined. Once again, an attitude BTVS copied. Shoot em with a gun? They'll impale you on a corncob (TOTALLY WEIRD)
There was one injury in this one that actually terrified me. The window in a police cruiser is bashed out, leaving shards of glass everywhere. Borg queen slides our female hero's arm across a jagged edge. YIKES!
So yeah, lotta people die, one liners are lined, and a friggin cat saves the day. As not good as this movie is, I must grudgingly admit I enjoy it. Better love story than twilight, as the Pedo-Pire is unmasked on the first date.
Stay Tuned - 1992.
John Ritter stars in this surprisingly effective spoof. I wrote an essay in notepad about this, but it's mostly fanfic garbage, so I'll leave it out.
The costumes and sets in this movie are shockingly on point. I don't think a show that takes any of the spoofs seriously could get the props and costumes in Today's Hollywood. I mean it's surprising how far they go in these.
The Premise: Dude put his soul up as collateral on a heckin' sweet TV/Satellite setup, and Hell needs to kill him in 24 hours, or he walks.
He visits a game show - You can't win. And survives via technicality - it was a trick question.
Another contract holder is killed by a copyright free knock-off of Godzilla, and then it's off to
Northern Overexposure! Seriously, these spoofs were probably how the film got pitched, Even the credits are filled with these.
And yes, he visits Three's Company.
This movie has a special place in my heart, and the rewatch was as fun as my first watch. Check it out. Really.
Reign of the Supermen (2019)
There's always something a little off about these animated DC titles, part of it is the adult baiting, like having EXUNCTLY ONE SWEAR WORD in the movie, other times it's the crap animation.
Here is the euthanasia scene for Superboy. Gratutious? You bet your ass. Luthor is obviously a richard in this one, but he damn near euthanizes his own son, just because he hasn't hit the proper PR margin.
Superboy is pretty good in this one, it's the 1993 Superboy. I liked the character, one of the reasons I never bothered with Young Justice was because they retconned him into a moody bottom.
This Superboy revels in the powers he has, and has fun with it, unlike the dense bottom in young justice.
So I like the movie, but there are a few sour notes to be aware of. Jerry O' Connell does a hell of a job voicing 2/4 supermen.