So, I mentioned suffering through the elm street series, and it was total poo.
New Nightmare was way shittier than I remembered it. Like I thought it was meta or something, and it flirts with that, but it's in the realm of "scary to an eight year old".
Seriously. Crap movie, Wes Craven was straight up his own ass on that one.
It kind of ruins Scream for me, just more him jacking off, directly into camera.
For instance, "Heather" in New Nightmare gets both abusive phone calls, and weird burned pictographs in the mail, before anything spoopy goes on.
And it's not addressed. Stop paying attention and just play along.
Ernest Scared Stupid is a more honest horror movie than this poo.
I'm not kidding. Ernest Scared Stupid is honestly a scary movie.
But yeah, artists "tooting their own horn" aka, jacking themselves off? That's all New Nightmare is.
Freddy is discarded for this new, fairy tale jackhole version of the character, with a more organic glaive.
Now, that's something I always found stupid about F13, how they kept making the mask more goopey, when it didn't matter.
It's scarier to keep poo simple.
The Elm Street prior to New Nightmare introduced both a glove with standard razor blades (they're short) and the concept that EVERY TOWN has an Elm Street.
New Nightmare flat out discards that, aside from a nightmare scene.
I've vomited too many words on this bless'ed thing.
I'll say the scene where Heather becomes Nancy, with the gray hair streak, and wardrobe change, is legitimately creepy, but the movie immediately shits it away.
Like, they should have done 15 minutes of Heather being an actress, and then gone down the nightmare path of her being Nancy.
Jamming in the husband and kid, it's more of that weird poo from the prior film, where the female protaganist just had to accept motherhood... to survive.
Honestly, all the meta poo in scream was recycled from this unimpressive film.
I just end up feeling bad for Heather Langenkamp. Her line in the original film - "I'm into survival" is so much better than the series.