Topic: Stargate: SG-1 - Season 1.

[8ullfrog]

I'm sick, so I don't need to play whack a mole with ads on the streaming sites, so I brought out SG-1, since I have the whole series on DVD.


Season 1 is in the wrong order, so episodes don't really tie together, but apparently that's how they made it. Shades a lot like The Outer Limits, and that was not at all what I was suspecting.


Children of the gods: was the pilot, so it's about what you would expect.


The Enemy within: shows that it isn't as simple as just yanking a goauld snake out of the host, it has to do with scifi chemicals and crap. You can scoop the whole snake out and still end up with a pod person.

 

Emancipation: has anti-women mongols, and they pull one over on a warlord by giving him a beretta 92fs. Good luck getting reloads on that, horselord!

The Broca divide: makes no sense. People with histamines turn into cavemen, people who have low histimine diets are not cavemen, and it works like a werewolves disease. I didn't really like this one, but found it surprisingly dark. Colonel O'Neill volunteers for a potentially lethal cure, but the minute counter on the episode says everything will turn up daisies.

The first Commandment: Apocalypse now, but stupid. I feel like they wasted a lot of potential on a rather shitty episode. People live in caves, a team of marines decides to play god, nothing goes well.


Cold Lazarus: Holy poo, this episode does not play. I don't want to ruin it for a potential viewer, but this went way deeper than an often funny, campy schlocky series has any business doing. I had forgotten this episode existed, maybe I surpressed it. Definitely felt like an outer limits episode than a stargate episode.

Thor's Hammer: A vampire episode! We're introduced to the first Goauld killing weapon, and as per usual, SG-1 Breaks it. Those rascally numbskulls.

For all the goauld killing they do, they sure break a lot of tech beyond their understanding.

I forgot to mention my favorite thing about these DVD's. They're 16:9 friendly! No letterbox cowpoo, Horizontal OR vertical. Those Vert bars have put me off a TNG rewatch, but I only have Season 1, so it's not like that's a a big deal.

[8ullfrog]

Hah, in Torment of Tantalus, Teal'c litters!

[8ullfrog]

So, I've been doing a rewatch, and it's gone pretty slow. I think I started in December? I'm up to Season 3, Vol.3

And I'm livid. Vol.2 was outgassed, and had my very favorite episode of SG-1, "Rules of Engagement". Honestly, if I had to show someone one episode of SG-1, it would be the pilot. But if you cut me off from the rest of the series and said "pick one" it would be "Rules of Engagement"

Meanwhile, Vol. 3 appears to never have been opened. Ever. Maybe the last owner of this box set also favored "Rules of Engagement"

That being said, unlike a book, DO NOT read the episode summaries on the back of Vol. 3. Holy poo spoilers.


Season 3 - Episode 12 - Jolinar's Memories. The MGM Lion seemed particularly "Yeah yeah, here's an episode, golly off" to me.

SG-1 now qualify as helljumpers in the halo vernacular, and literally, since the planet they atmosphere coffin dropped into is designed to emulate HELL.  Teal'c sits this one out. He's in the ship above.


Just watched "The Devil You Know."  SG-1's Tokra allies really fork them over on this one, but Aldwin, the Tokra bombing the planet SG-1 happen to be on is a cool enough dude to not only work out an escape plan, but explains it through the locked door. (He is in jail)

Like, we did a whole BSG rewatch with six and all, but I can't remember anyone telling the colonials how to escape CYLON HELL by convoluted but satisfying plan.

Huh, that actually would have been more satisfying than what we got. SHOWTIME SG-1 Crew knew what they were doing.

[6pairsofshoes]

I hope you are feeling better.

Maybe if I get some time, I'll try it.  I did manage to plow through all of the godawful Earth: Final Conflict.  After that, how bad could SG be?  One show that I followed for a while and then just gave up on because it simply made no sense any longer and seemed to be lauding violence for its own sake was The 100.  It became a snorefest.  How many people in this post apocalyptic world who have ready access to heavy metal type costumes and makeup along with attendant tattoos have the spare time to be beating the crap out of one another, not due to skirmishes over scarce resources, but due to some kind of tribal dominance struggles.  The plot development just veered into the absurd.  If things got that bad, you'd think people would be busy finding food and staying alive in ways that did not simply involve ritual battles.

[8ullfrog]

Made a fat burrito.

One sad thing, if you ride the pirate ship, you won't get the special features. I was just watching the S3 behind the scenes crap off the DVD, and Kurt Russel actually visited the set. Unfortunately, he was dressed as Elvis. (He was filming 3000 miles to graceland) So the whole plotted "O'neil vs. O'neill" scene never materialized. Specifically, there is an IN SHOW scene where Richard Dean Anderson explains that he is Jack O'neill, two l's, and that the other guy has no sense of humor. They were supposed to pass each other in the hallway, but at the time, Hollywood actors didn't do TV.

If you've ever seen the film, Kurt Russel's Jack O'neil is sent on the stargate mission SPECIFICALLY because he is suicidal.

One funny, or maybe not so funny note - Thor, supreme commander of the asgard, essentially a get out of hell free card, is a spindly little Roswell grey, with MASSIVE firepower. like "enemy fleet go bye-bye" power.

Some puppeteer had Thor grab Amanda Tapping's ass. So she hauled off and decked the puppet. And then apologized. Because she's Canadian polite.

But that's something streaming probably doesn't keep intact.

If you want to ask questions here, I'm only too happy to respond. Honestly, if the BSG fleet had met stargate command half way through the journey, the ending would have been far more palatable.


Looks like it's on Prime - FOR NOW. know that stargate has an extremely fractured streaming experience. Also let me know what you think of Chinese myogyny planet, I think it's episode 3? Probably still more fun than handmaids tale, and they outsmart the politician with a berretta. 92FS, not that anyone, ever, will care.


Foothold was extremely creepy, but the next episode, Pretense, they're literally on Caprica.  Like I know sets are recycled, but it's the river walk where six snaps the babies neck.

Hah, picked up the BSG miniseries on DVD at Goodwill. Finally put money down for all the many times I've pirated it. The river market is at 17:00

[6pairsofshoes]

So, enlighten me.  These guys find the stargate and go through it to find their old anthropologist buddy and then his wife is absconded by goualds.  But what's the deal with them just randomly going through other gates and getting into fights with the locals in every episode?  This is like a poor man's version of Star Trek.  And the music is just about as awful as can be imagined.  Schlock schock schlock.

I'm up to episode 4.  I practically hurled when I saw the set designers' conception of Minoan architecture.  They should be sent back to their Aegean archaeology class for a refresher.  Gaak.  At least O'Neill seems to be reasonable and practical.

Quote of the day:  O'Neill, "Hey, I'm a big fan of all this stuff but art appreciation is not what this mission is about."  Dang!

[8ullfrog]

Okay, in the movie, the gate went to one destination, which is what Daniel Jackson was hired for. You might want to catch the movie, simply because it's a pretty good movie. I believe it's free to watch officially on youtube, unless they've pulled it.

Anyway, Daniel deciphered the gate dialing address for Abydos. They went through, movie movie movie, He decided to stay on Abydos with his new wife.

Jack lied to command and said Daniel died on the mission. I believe General Hammond gives him a verbal reprimand for this. If Jack wasn't still the best man from the job, he probably would have been demoted for doing that. Actually, I think he's retired at this point, and the General reactivates his commission.

Apophis drunk dialed earth, and took the Blonde Airman (Airwoman? Airperson?) to the harem so that his wife-snake could pick a new meat suit. He doesn't know he was dialing Earth, because Earth was in his bosses domain. (His boss is the movie Antagonist) At this point, no one gives a poo about earth, the stargate had been buried for about 10,000 years, until some dumbass dug it up in 1928.

Apophis then went to Abydos for more meat suits. Daniel's wife was selected, as was her brother? Cousin? Skaara. Apparently Apophis Son Klorel was also in the market for a meat suit.

Bad news is, Skaara made friends with O'neill in the movie. I believe he has Jack's dog tags.


SO, Stargate project terminated after the Abydos mission, Apophis drunk dialing earth turns it into a new command, as "a threat is out there" tm

So you are partially correct that originally the stargate only had one destination. During the 2 episodes, or 1 movie you are watching, it is revealed that Daniel found an old alien shed.

Just kidding, it's a giant gold plated... shed.

Anyway, the walls of the shed are Hieroglyphed up - HOLY poo THAT IS AN ACTUAL WORD, anyway, it's marked up with Gate Addresses, all presumably under Ra's domain. I have this weird feeling there were 300 addresses? That's probably wrong.


Movie movie movie, now the Stargate command has an excuse for funding. And a TV series.

Apparently the president wanted 9 teams, I don't remember when they went up to 20, but I remember SG-10 and SG-11, so apparently that number isn't set in stone.

Apparently Richard Dean Anderson purposely flubbed any Treknobabble they wrote for him, so him dismissing things became a part of the character. He does have an appreciation for some things, such as Hockey, and The Simpsons. He is most distressed when they are captured, as his VCR can only tape so many episodes unattended.

As to the cultural influences, even Daniel would tell you that the Goauld are parasites. So imagine all these cultures as either divergent, or through the lens of a shitty street gang aping stuff. You might actually be on episode five, Children of the gods (the pilot movie) was considered to be the first two episodes.

You didn't tell me what you thought of Mongol bottom planet!

[6pairsofshoes]

I'll dig up the movie when I get a chance and check it out.

As for the Mongols?  TV Villain played by actor I just know I've seen before in other contexts but I couldn't place him.  Evil sexist guy to the point of camp.  That "fight to the death" was pure comic gold. 

That pretty young boy who sold her needs to have been madam slapped every minute he was alive.  That the Cap'n didn't want him publicly castrated for selling her beggared belief.  "Oh, it's ok.  He did it for love."  Like if they burned down your village in quest for romantic happiness it would be alright?  That's some stupid writing.

[8ullfrog]

Eh, I'd say it's about par for Carter.

O'neill was probably right to protest her being on the team. Not because she's a woman, but because she's a damn' geek.

We're led to believe she's a gulf war vet who flew 100 hours combat over Iraq. Which implies the Iraqi air force wasn't buried in the desert, like in reality.

Then again, aliens built the pyramids in Stargate, anything is possible.

I just found it funny how the warlord was placated by a pistol with a maximum of 17 rounds, less if it's chambered over 9mm.

joker fires off a few rounds in celebration, call it less. His empire is made of sand.

They never actually go back to that racist stereotype planet, which makes sense, since season 1 seems to be more a fever dream than anything concrete. And yeah, SG-1 suffers from "that guy" syndrome. I may have mentioned some of the BSG crew, and even some BSG locations show up in SG-1, but that's because of the "pool" of sci-fi actors at the time.

One fun one, Carter once showed up as Agent Skinner's love interest on X-files. And the actor who played Skinner shows up later on in stargate as Colonel Caldwell.

Huh, poo, reading the wiki, maybe he wasn't on SG-1, but SG-A?  weird.

[6pairsofshoes]

At any rate, the Gouald seem a whole lot smarter than humans.

Their technologies, such as projecting orange domes over planets to allow for filtration of harmful solar rays sure beats the pants off of sunscreen.  All this from some slimy crustaceans.  Who'd a thunk it?

[8ullfrog]

wait, poo, you lost me. Goauld are straight up scavengers, I do not recall them employing a UV protection dome.

I mean maybe one of the other great races left some tech behind. Is this still -

Okay, first commandment. Yeah, they just stole that poo, like a boardwalk sunglass tree, where you spin the glasses around and find a pair you like.

Either way, I actually went and tracked down the eel that looks like the goauld. Sidenote, do not image search ANYTHING on bing, because WHATTHEFUCK

Anyway, it's a Goby. ugly politician. Has also been compared to the alien chestburster.

I imagine humans, or before them, the UNAS, would have been the protective shell. Not so much a crustacean.


poo! I missed one from Season 1. Volume 5, "Politics". So I'm watching it right now.

Okay, WOW, we get some heads up here. 7.5 BILLION a year.

O'neill summarizes it as "seven-ish"
Sick ID-4 reference, about uploading a virus to the mothership.

oh hey, we get to see the amounet gouald queen hat. I know there is an apostrophe in goauld. Jack even says it. After the A, before the U, and then they have Carter say it. "Goa'uld". I'm just lazy. If the Goa'uld turn out not to be fictional, we're bent. Otherwise, I think we're okay losing an apostrophe or two.

Actually, poo, this episode seems like what you wanted all through BSG, someone to call the series regulars on their poo.

They KIND OF did that with Cain, but she was a space rape-pirate. So, not the most impartial of arbiters. Halo 2 made me love that word, arbiter.

ah. the 1990's cars showing up in my dreams thing makes a bit more sense here.

poo, unlike Battlestar, maybe I should do season threads. If it be discouraged, I will respect that decision, General Smokester.

[6pairsofshoes]

The Gouald have claws, like crabs.  Granted they are snake like, too.

The thing that makes the sky orange and serves as a UV ray shield was something they referred to as from the Goualds in the episode.  I don't know if the Goualds stole the tech from elsewhere, but I got the impression that the pair of domical objects that emitted beams of protective rays had been placed there by the Goualds.  Maybe they were there earlier and the Goualds turned them off or something.  For some snappy eels, they sure do get around.  You have to hand it to them.  And unlike Alien, they at least have the good grace to create an x incision in the host to make it possible for them to exit without great damage.  Can't speak to what they do to their nervous systems, but that's another subject.

[8ullfrog]

eh, not so much claws as they have like, a predator mouth, which I have heard of as "crab like". It wasn't that polite though.

No one describes the mouth of the beast in PREDATOR in anything resembling a respectful tone.

That came later, with weird poo. Like, REALLY weird poo.

So the goauld have knuckle jaw, like each corner is a talon? I'm not good at describing biology. Either way, bad news if you're in proximity.

You're not wrong about the planetary shield, it was planted by the goauld, for selfish purposes. Which is essentially, anything those asstards do.

They steal everything they have. This is actually mirrored, but I won't spoil it, that's a "later on SG-1" thing.

As to the X incision, wait until they meet Hathor. Honestly, I don't think there is a damn thing about the Goauld that doesn't resemble rape. That's why it's so satisfying when those gits die.

The Jaffa essentially exist to incubate the larval goauld. When they're ready, they get implanted in a host. If the Jaffa is valuable, they get a new Primta - Baby Goauld. Teal'c REALLY hates his. O'neill calls it Junior.

Once again, happy to answer any questions you may have about the show.

And yeah, Xenomorphs are a bless'ed nightmare (The Aliens from Alien are called Xenomorphs.) I don't know why.

[6pairsofshoes]

Interesting you describe it thus as I realize you are right.  I was looking at the nasty creatures in Stranger Things and realized that they look kind of plant like in ways that recall Venus Flytraps.  I think the gouald mouth appendages are like that, also.

[6pairsofshoes]

The episode of Brief Candle was sort of goofy in that it attempted to combine Aegean archaeology with nanotechnology, baked goods and sex.  One thing you can't accuse the writers of is of being too narrow in their selection of source material.