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Author Topic: Amusing Spam Threats  (Read 31922 times)

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Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Amusing Spam Threats
« on: July 16, 2023, 11:00:03 PM »
Do you ever go to the Junk Mail/Spam folder only to find some email with a dire warning in the title?  Some of these are really funny.

"Someone just run a background check on you" was one that sounded like the intro to a blues song.

Please share any that you found particularly strange or inventive.
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Offline smokester

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #1 on: July 17, 2023, 10:51:20 AM »
I get a lot of spam but these always confuse me. It's apparently an advert for a Santoku knife, but then there's some bumf about Amy Adams?


 
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Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #2 on: July 17, 2023, 03:00:02 PM »
I wonder how many of these are written by bots.  AI is going to give our junk mail an upgrade, I think.

Today's assortment:

"Awaiting Payment: I greet you! I have bad news for you..."

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Offline 8ullfrog

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #3 on: July 17, 2023, 08:12:34 PM »
They actually avoid AI because it's unable to do the fishing for stupidity that the scam emails have to perform.
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Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #4 on: July 18, 2023, 01:03:49 AM »
I think some of these would be great in Chinese fortune cookies.  I'd pay extra for a meal that included this creative bit of nonsense.
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Offline smokester

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #5 on: July 18, 2023, 04:45:43 AM »
WTF is this:

Quote

Do you ever feel like the universe is against you?

If you answered “YES”, then this will be the answer to it all..

Listen, there’s been a 20 word script used by Nikola Tesla, and even Bob Proctor..

That they have used to manifest 100X faster, and force the universe to give what they want

And it’s been leaked for the first time (click here to see it)..

When you see it, give it a try…And watch as magic happens..

You have never seen ANYTHING like it before.

It’s not about pumping yourself up or shouting like a hippie..

Just go here to check it out and use it.

Enjoy!

Sarah

What's wrong with "shouting like a hippie"?
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Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #6 on: July 18, 2023, 10:46:39 AM »
Nothing that I can think of, except that I don't really think of hippies as people who shout much.  They are usually laid back, either because they're stoned or busy contemplating the glories of the universe or some such.  I tend to avoid clicking on these emails as I'm in fear of malware or other tasty little surprise packages.

This morning's offering:

"Dealing with the IRS Agent from Hell?"

This was in the usual array of pfishing "Unusual Microsoft signin activity" and "your iCloud storage is full."  Heh.
Then, there's the (are you dumb as a post? fill out this survey and find out type:) "Congratulations You Have Won an Pittsburgh 225 Piece Tool Set."

Last I looked, Pittsburgh had pretty much declined as a manufacturing center and it's hard to fathom how this might be a great tool set.  Give me Snap Ons.
« Last Edit: July 18, 2023, 10:57:51 AM by 6pairsofshoes »
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Offline dweez

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #7 on: July 18, 2023, 03:53:43 PM »
I never look at my Spam folder unless someone sent me an email I didn't get. Every month or so I just empty the whole folder and move on.
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Offline smokester

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #8 on: July 19, 2023, 02:54:59 AM »
Quote from: dweez on July 18, 2023, 03:53:43 PM
I never look at my Spam folder unless someone sent me an email I didn't get. Every month or so I just empty the whole folder and move on.

My genuine mail gets spammed as I get a lot from suppliers and theirs always looks dodgy. I have to constantly "not junk" them.

Saying that, in the gazillions of normal spam mail I get in various accounts, rarely do I receive threats - barring "we hacked your cam and watched you....".

I  don't have a cam.
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Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

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Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #9 on: July 19, 2023, 03:08:01 AM »
Another pretty odd pfishing email:
Quote
From Post Office -Madrid Spain
Address: Plaza del Rey No. 1 28004 Madrid, Spain
Phone, +34 698765675
Email, [email protected]

Hello

Re: Post Office -Madrid Spain urgently to avoid expiration.

From the regular mail post office Madrid Spain, Be informed that there is a parcel which contains an ATM Card in this office deposited by a private organization body on the 18th of February, 2022.

Your e-mail address was attached to it and is to be posted to you. We have been waiting for you to contact us for your conformable ATM Card which contains the sum of €800,000 Euro and some vital documents. So kindly get back to this office (Regular Mail Post office Madrid Spain) to avoid fraudulent issues concerning this service.

You are to confirm and provide to us your postal address below through this address,  [email protected]

Your full name..........
your country............
your postal address.....
Your direct phone........

Note: that every claim has an expiring period of fourteen working day, so you have that very urgently to avoid expiration.

Thanks
Your best regard
Contact person
Márcio De Souza

Too bad, as I could think of several ways to spend 800k Euros.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2023, 08:06:57 AM by 6pairsofshoes »
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Offline goldshirt*9

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #10 on: July 19, 2023, 06:59:36 AM »
Don't have much spam TBH, the occasional "failed to deliver" from USA sites.
I don't buy from USA site's, so the emails just go in the spam and I, as per Dweez, clear it out every so often
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Offline 6pairsofshoes

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #11 on: July 19, 2023, 08:53:18 PM »
Outlook email has a junk mail folder that is easy to access and, for some reason, it's like a spam magnet.  It gets far more spam than any of my other accts, and normally, I delete the contents once a day, but lately, I've noticed that some of them are downright funny.  And, now, I feel downright cosmopolitan since I'm being solicited for spanish speaking porn photos. 

"Hola, Aqui estan las fotos que pediste.  Hola mi amorcito, no se porque me pediste que te envie las fotos del dia del motel a este correo (deleted)@live.com ,pero ahi van. solo deje fuera la que se ve la llantita de la guata jajaja."

I think this ends in some kind of slang about paunches and "spare tires" but my colloquial Spanish isn't up to snuff here.
« Last Edit: July 19, 2023, 08:57:32 PM by 6pairsofshoes »
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Offline smokester

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #12 on: July 20, 2023, 03:41:01 AM »
Quote from: 6pairsofshoes on July 19, 2023, 08:53:18 PM
Outlook email has a junk mail folder that is easy to access and, for some reason, it's like a spam magnet.  It gets far more spam than any of my other accts, and normally, I delete the contents once a day, but lately, I've noticed that some of them are downright funny.  And, now, I feel downright cosmopolitan since I'm being solicited for spanish speaking porn photos. 

"Hola, Aqui estan las fotos que pediste.  Hola mi amorcito, no se porque me pediste que te envie las fotos del dia del motel a este correo (deleted)@live.com ,pero ahi van. solo deje fuera la que se ve la llantita de la guata jajaja."

I think this ends in some kind of slang about paunches and "spare tires" but my colloquial Spanish isn't up to snuff here.

I use Outlook and I have 4 accounts within it. The only account that gets a magnitude of spam, is one that has been previously hacked. All the rest don't really get any. I also have my own mailserver through our VPS so I set the filters how I wish. Doesn't help with that one account.
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Don't put off until tomorrow, what you can put off until the day after.

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Offline 8ullfrog

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #13 on: July 21, 2023, 02:43:41 AM »
My avast subscription expired today.

Which is weird, because I've never used avast, and in fact despise it.

I haven't looked at my google spam in years, this is kinda fun.
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Offline smokester

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Re: Amusing Spam Threats
« Reply #14 on: July 21, 2023, 03:42:01 AM »
This may be a threat, but I won't know until I learn Spanish:

Quote
JUSTIÇA FEDERAL DA 1ª REGIÃO
PJe Push - Serviço de Acompanhamento automático de processos.
Prezado(a),
Informamos que o processo a seguir sofreu movimentação:
Número do Processo: 1001901-31.2022.4.01.3304
Polo Ativo: E-mail Credenciado ( myemail )
Polo Passivo: INSTITUTO NACIONAL DO SEGURO SOCIAL
Classe Judicial: PROCEDIMENTO DO JUIZADO ESPECIAL CÍVEL
Órgão: Juizado Especial Cível e Criminal Adjunto à 1ª Vara Federal da SSJ de São Paulo - SP
Data de Autuação: 05/06/2023
Tipo de Distribuição: Acusação
Assunto: Carta Precatória
Data   Movimento   Documento
19/07/2023   Decisão por merito   Ver Processo

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