Topic: Amusing Spam Threats

[6pairsofshoes]

Ha!  That's in Portuguese.
Apparently, it's a judgement about your Brazilian Social Security payments.  Not a criminal matter, but a civil action that I can't find enough information about.  I suspect they're trying to hack into your Social Security.  It's clearly a scam, so don't respond, unless you want more entertainment.

A selection from mine this morning:

"Smell better naked with Lume" (this puzzles me since I'd expect to smell the same regardless of what I was wearing.)

"Your system has been infected with (32) viruses"  (can't explain the parentheses or the number)

"It's not too late to get your body back with 1 day fat removal"  (this reminds me of the misheard lyrics I used to sing as a child for "My Bonnie" -- we used to sing "My Body Lies over the Ocean, My Body lies over the sea, My Body lies over the Ocean, oh bring back my Body to me...")  Somehow, I don't think that's what they mean.

[8ullfrog]

Portuguese. You can always tell the difference because Portuguese is livelier and stranger.

It's a change of venue notice about a social security ruling. There will be a decision on merits.

Google couldn't get Precatória but from what I read it's either about a tree or a plea.

[6pairsofshoes]

A carta precatória is a letter from one judge to a second judge in a different jurisdiction.  I had a year of Portuguese back in the stone age, so I can only work up an approximate translation.  https://pt.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carta_precat%C3%B3ria

This explains it better.  https://blog.advise.com.br/entenda-precatoria/
Apparently, if you are getting social security or other state payments, this kind of a letter is issued to establish an additional payment.  So I suspect the junk mail is kind of like one of those Ethiopian scams that says you are owed a bunch of money, we just need your bank details, and preferably the password to your accounts.

My favorite of today:  "We found your public record (alias) Your Public Record Update"
I have several email accts under fake names and this is one of them so it amuses me to no end that they've dug something up on a guy who doesn't exist.

[8ullfrog]

I actually got a similar letter to Mom, but it was legit.

There was malfeasance in the handling of her social security benefits, (Someone decided she would get less, and wasn't the person who actually has the power to decide that) and the "award" was enough to buy a car.

It's a good car, 2017 Chevy Sonic.

You better believe I confirmed this in the Social Security offices.

I have the sneaking suspicion I'm going to get audited this year, because of the car.

The way I found out about all this wasn't nice either. They simply stopped the benefits hoping I'd go into the office. So of course, I did.

[6pairsofshoes]

If the award was for benefits due her in prior years, that can be reported on an amended return from the prior year.  Feel free to PM me about this.

[8ullfrog]

Thankfully there were no tax implications, but I increasingly feel out of depth handling this.
Unfortunately, there is no one else.

Specifically, they "realized" mom was supposed to be getting benefits from my father.

I honestly feel like the money is poisoned and that I am drowning in quicksand.

Sorry, this thread was honestly fun, that Tree Vs. Plea fun was honestly the best word play I've seen in years.

[6pairsofshoes]

Yeah.  Widow's benefits, I believe, increase your monthly income to the level of what your spouse would have received, had he been alive.  I expect that, since your Dad's been gone for several years, this was a tidy sum.

I'm glad you were able to get a new car.  It really sucked when they stole your last one.

Today's offering:
"News flash:  your pillowcase is to blame! (No preview is available) "
Sounds like a potentially useful defense for Trump to use when facing his next indictment.

[8ullfrog]

My netflix account has been shut off again.

They demand "YOU FIX YOUR ACCOUNT NOW!!! CLICK HERE"

I've never had netflix, and even if I had, that's far too pushy a way to treat a customer.

Mom got a charcoal filtered pillow. I don't know if that will actually do anything, but I'm interested in finding out.

[smokester]

Assuming my real name is "user" and so I believe this email, how, in God's name, did they manage to come to a Tax of £10.20?  It would have been far more convincing if they'd left that off completely.

[6pairsofshoes]

8ully, that sounds like a pushy Chinese grandmother.  I'd comply immediately.

smokes, I love the originating email addy.  They're too lazy to try to come up with one that sounds remotely like it came from ebay.  That said, an 83 inch tv sounds pretty large.  Hopefully it won't get damaged in transit as it moves through the imaginary world where it lives.

[smokester]

smokes, I love the originating email addy.  They're too lazy to try to come up with one that sounds remotely like it came from ebay.  That said, an 83 inch tv sounds pretty large.  Hopefully it won't get damaged in transit as it moves through the imaginary world where it lives.

Assuming the address included is where it's being sent from, it's saying it''s this place:

[smokester]

They've shuttered up where the TV used to be.

I''m more impressed with the soft top, MKIV Cortina with Rostyle wheels.

[6pairsofshoes]

Looks like the place where they sell bus tickets.  The Cortina seems to be illegally parked.  Bonus!

[smokester]

That's an Escort cabriolet.

They ain't rostyles either.

In my defence, today is my bidet and I'm very, very old.

[6pairsofshoes]

They ain't rostyles either.

In my defence, today is my bidet and I'm very, very old.

Happy bidet 2 u, smokes!