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Author Topic: Good Jokes.  (Read 165231 times)

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Offline JackFrost

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #75 on: February 14, 2009, 09:49:09 PM »
A pirate walk into a bar and is walking funny because he's got the ship's wheel sticking out of his pants.

"Wow, that's gotta be really uncomfortable," the bartender tells him.

"Arrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
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Offline ohcheap1

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #76 on: February 14, 2009, 10:49:31 PM »
Please tell me that you v 2 ^ did not just publish those.........those............jokes.
« Last Edit: February 15, 2009, 09:48:59 AM by ohcheap1 »
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Offline MisterAJ

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #77 on: February 15, 2009, 05:33:08 AM »
A nurse walked in to check on me the last time I was in the hospital.


She said: "Why the hell do you have a peanut on your pecker!!?"


I said: "I'M bless'ed NUTS!!!"
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Offline JackFrost

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #78 on: February 15, 2009, 10:22:37 AM »
Quote from: ohcheap1 on February 14, 2009, 10:49:31 PM
Please tell me that you v 2 ^ did not just publish those.........those............jokes.

You gotta admit you chuckled a bit... ;)
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Offline JackFrost

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #79 on: February 15, 2009, 10:26:28 AM »
Quote from: Jhb48430 on February 15, 2009, 10:24:22 AM
Do you go where your nuts take you?

If something is pulling me by them, then yes.
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Offline JackFrost

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #80 on: February 15, 2009, 10:51:42 AM »
Quote from: Jhb48430 on February 15, 2009, 10:30:30 AM
Do you get pulled by your nuts often?

Not as much as I'd like, no...  :-\
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Offline JackFrost

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #81 on: February 15, 2009, 11:01:17 AM »
Quote from: Jhb48430 on February 15, 2009, 10:53:41 AM
:-\  Too bad!

Meh. This too shall pass.  :D
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Offline JackFrost

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #82 on: February 15, 2009, 11:15:49 AM »
Quote from: Jhb48430 on February 15, 2009, 11:02:34 AM
LOL 

I keep smelling my wrist, my new perfume smells yummy

Oooo-kay.

What's the punchline?  ;)
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Offline ohcheap1

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #83 on: February 15, 2009, 12:49:11 PM »
Here JH let me help you get back on track here...........

One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi." The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me." So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."
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Offline JackFrost

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #84 on: February 15, 2009, 08:38:18 PM »
Quote from: ohcheap1 on February 15, 2009, 12:49:11 PM
Here JH let me help you get back on track here...........

One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi." The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me." So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."


 :D :D
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Offline ohcheap1

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #85 on: February 15, 2009, 10:08:44 PM »
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth." 
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Offline MisterAJ

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #86 on: February 16, 2009, 02:35:58 PM »
 :D :D :D


In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.

A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office. She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"
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Offline ohcheap1

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #87 on: February 17, 2009, 12:03:51 AM »
For AJ:
What?s the difference between a drunk and a stoner?

A drunk drives through the stop sign... a stoner waits for it to turn green.
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Offline dweez

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #88 on: February 17, 2009, 09:08:34 AM »
A baby seal walks into a club
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--dweez

Offline MisterAJ

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Re: Good Jokes.
« Reply #89 on: February 17, 2009, 10:41:39 AM »
Quote from: ohcheap1 on February 17, 2009, 12:03:51 AM
For AJ:
What?s the difference between a drunk and a stoner?

A drunk drives through the stop sign... a stoner waits for it to turn green.

ROFL... good one, C... :D

Quote from: dweez on February 17, 2009, 09:08:34 AM
A baby seal walks into a club

<snip> Please don't do that again AJ.  I am easily scarred by images of animal cruelty.  Nuff said. Smokester


Two teens had been lovers for a few weeks, but the boy was
always after the girl to quit smoking. One afternoon, she lit up
after some love making, and he said, "You really ought to quit."

She, getting tired of his nagging, said, "I really enjoy a good
cigarette after sex."

He replied, "But they stunt your growth." She asked if he ever
smoked, and he replied that he had never.

Smiling and lifting her gaze to his groin, she said, "So, what's
your excuse then?"
« Last Edit: February 20, 2009, 04:16:49 PM by smokester »
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