Ive been thinking about this thread for awhile. So many movies have a temporary impact on me but thats usually just an entertainment effect. One that I remember actually changed my perception on life would be "Ordinary People". I came from a very outspoken Mom and understated Dad and always wondered how those two personalities ended up gel-ling.
Plot synopsis
The film opens to a montage of shots depicting Chicago's North Shore to the tune of Pachelbel's Canon, which serves throughout as the film's main theme. The Jarretts, an affluent family, try to return to normal life after the attempted suicide of their youngest teenage son, Conrad, who has recently come home following a four-month stay in a psychiatric hospital. Alienated from his friends and family, Conrad, having left the hospital, chooses to continue seeing psychiatrist, Dr. Berger, who learns that the boy had been involved in a sailing accident that killed his older brother, Buck. Buck, a superior athlete and student to Conrad, clearly came first in everyone's estimation (including Conrad's). Calvin Jarrett, the father, awkwardly struggles to connect with his surviving son, who is tormented by clinical depression, survivor guilt, and post-traumatic stress disorder. His wife Beth, who clearly loved Buck more, has shut off her emotions and has become obsessed with maintaining the appearance of perfection and normality.
As Conrad successfully works with Dr. Berger and learns to allow himself to have feelings, he starts dating Jeannine, a kind and nonjudgmental girl from his school choir, and begins to regain a sense of optimism. However, the suicide of a friend from the hospital, Karen, threatens to send him spiraling back into depression.
Finally, Conrad is able to stop blaming himself for Buck's death, and the boy realizes his mother's frailties as Dr. Berger advises him to accept her as she is. Calvin, aided by a session with Dr. Berger himself, finally begins to recognize the degree to which Beth has emotionally isolated herself, not just from Conrad, but also from Calvin himself. Calvin confronts Beth about his new feelings, telling her that he questions his love for her, and inquires whether she is capable of truly loving anyone. As Beth packs to leave, her facade is momentarily shattered by a sob, but she struggles to restore the mask.
The next morning Calvin informs Conrad that Beth has left and Conrad's first reaction is to blame himself. Calvin at first angrily rebukes Conrad for taking that attitude, but then regrets losing his temper. They talk as each man continues to work through his regrets about their past relationship. But now, with each man having achieved some level of revelation and resolution with regard to Beth's feelings toward them, father and son are finally able to truly connect with another, and they embrace as the film ends.
The lesson that stuck with me is that if I have pain I would rather suffer openly than privately.
